by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
10. Ben Sheets does his “Lucy with the football” routine to Brewer Fans who are hoping for 200 good innings
9. Mrs. Brett Myers “falls down the stairs” after her husband’s rough outing
8. All of your loser excuses for skipping out of work for March Madness get recycled for Opening Day
7. Yankee Fan throws team under the bus for failing to land Johan Santana, who would have helped them prevent rainouts and other instances of Un-True Yankee-Like Behavior
6. Cub Fan freaks out about the “Backdraft”-esque nature of the bullpen
5. No matter how crappy the weather or condition of your team, you feel incredibly jealous of people who are going to Opening Day games while you slowly die in your cube
4. ESPN makes you feel a little more dirty and stupid for watching or caring (this is actually true of every sport and every day, but you’ll notice it more today)
3. Several MLB+ teams have de facto extra home games against small market teams (Boston “on the road” in Japan, the Mets “on the road” in Florida)…
2. You spend your day wildly overreacting to the fortunes of your fantasy baseball team, secure in the knowledge that what happened today will be perfectly replicated for the next 161 games
1. Winter ends, no matter what the weather is like
Original post by DMtShooter and software by Elliott Back